Parent conferences are a way to create a connection between the school and the parent and to share the progress of the child: academically, socially, and behaviorally.
Discuss what you do personally to prepare the students for conferences, to prepare the parents for conferences, and what you do, as a teacher, to prepare for each child's conference.
Share with your classmates the best conference you have ever had with parents, and also discuss the worst conference you have had with parents. What made the first situation successful? And what made the latter situation unsuccessful? Was there anything you could have done to make the latter situation better, and if so, did you implement it the next time?
Parent-Teacher conferences at Dunkerton are optional for the secondary level. I try to go out of my way to let the students know they are coming up and I will contact some parents that I really hope can make it up to talk. I usually see about half of the families and I try to make each time supportive and positive as possible. I also see parents at IEP meetings, which often times end out similar to PT conferences.
ReplyDeleteMy best PT conferences are the ones where we build of positives. I always appreciate it so much when parents are supportive of me and appreciate the efforts. It is nice when you can lay out the positives in a manor that the negatives seem small and necessary to change.
The worst PT conferences are the ones where parents believe that their child can do no wrong. It is not fun when parents want to argue or not believe in the things you say.
In these cases, I stay positive and try to understand where they are coming from. I do not just throw out negatives and I try to look at things from their point of view. I want parents to respect me and respect my opinions, but we all must earn that respect.
I agree that it is always nice when you leave the conference knowing the parent is behind the decisions you have made for their child. It is also terrible when the parents use the conference to put the teacher down and build up their child at the same time. I hate it when students are in the conference and they hear their parents disagreeing with the teacher and blaming them for any problems their child might have. This makes it extremely difficult to have any type of authority with the student in the future.
DeleteI think staying positive and understanding is key. That is really all they want is to be heard. It makes it hard to argue with a person who is very positive.
DeleteI agree with both Todd and Jill. Yes Jill it is harf to argue with a happy person. Yes Todd it is alway a good thing to remain positive. You seem to get further with the situation with a postive rather that a negative. When negativity is present, people seem to shut down and stop communitcating.
DeleteI have yet to experience parent teacher conferences but I am able to think back to my own. As a middle schooler at Aplington Parkersburg you come with you parents to your conference. We had what was called Apple Groups and they were considered your "homeroom teacher." We went to our Apple Groups everyday for 18 minutes. This was the teacher parents contacted if they had any concerns about their child. Middle school conferences were the students giving them for the parents. For conferences you got grade print offs for every one of your classes. You were given a sheet were you put down your grade now and what your goal grade was for the end of the semester. On the sheet it also asked what you were able to do to reach your goal. When it was time for the conference we went over each grade paper and talked about it as a group.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this idea because I never had to get nervous for my parents to go to my conference. I never was a trouble maker so I didn’t think anything bad was going to be brought up, but I just didn't like not knowing. It also gave me a chance to explain all my grades in my classes.
My thought of a great PT conference would be a parents coming and being open minded. I also want the parent to interact with me within the conference. I don’t want to be the only one talking. I want the conference to be a positive conference and us brain storm ways to make their child the best they can be.
My thought of a bad conference would be a parent coming in and making me feel like I am not qualified in my job. I never want a parent to think I am not giving their child the best education I can.
I want respect from parents so I will show them respect. I want them to know I care and I am willing to try whatever needs to happen to make their child successful.
I love your thoughts Allie about being open-minded. Often both teachers and families can get "married or attached" to their thoughts and ideas. It works best when everyone is a team with an equal chance to contribute. You totally seem to be on the same page as me when it comes to respect. We must always work hard to show parents respect and hope that they will return the favor. The student will always benefit the most when the parents and teachers can work together on a common goal.
DeleteAllie - I really like how your school had the students give the information to parents at the conferences. I think this is a great way to get students involved and show ownership of work and behavior.
DeleteI think parents and teachers having an open mind going into the conference is extremely important. I know sometimes I go into conferences knowing exactly what I think and what I am going to say. This isn't really the best because it doesn't allow me to be open to ideas the parents may have about how to better educate their child. Parents being open minded is huge because often times you are going to tell them a few things they do not want to hear, maybe about things their child is struggling with and needs extra help.
DeleteI to beleive that teachers and parents and students need to go into PT conferences with open minds but in reality that does not always happen. I have been in conferences when it is a blame game from the parent against the school. That is why it is so advantageous to communicate with parents at all times when a student is struggling.
DeleteGood point, I would not want to be the only one talking either. I would appreciate some sort of interaction.
DeletePost #3
ReplyDeleteI have not had the opportunity to be involved in a parent-teacher conference where I was in the teacher role.
I have experienced the role as a parent in several conferences for my son. I think the best conference we have had is where everyone is able to attend (people tend to be missing from IEP meeting due to trying to schedule a time that works for everyone) and everyone is on the same page. I like to know where my son is, what he does well, and what he needs work on and what I can do at home to help.
I have had bad IEP meetings for him. This has occurred because I believe that he needs more help than he is receiving. I have had to fight countless times for his to stay in special education and to receive all the services that are given. Parents should be the best advocate for their child and teachers should support/want the best for the child as well. The way people say things can make a world of difference and not making the parent feel that they should have to be defensive or being told what needs to happen. It should always be a collaboration of everyone.
I think that the teacher should always be organized and have an agenda to keep the meeting smooth. I would like teachers to focus on positives and what they are doing with my child to try to change the negative. Teachers should always take parent’s concerns seriously and consider their ideas.
Shandy, what a difference it makes when you have parents who care. This is so refreshing as a teacher. I often have parents tell me that "they hope they are not nagging". I tell them over and over, that the more they are involved the better it will be. You are your child's first advocate so always be ready to speak up and express your ideas and thoughts.
DeleteShandy I have also had bad IEP meetings with my children. Sometimes the people that were involved made me feel like it was such an inconvience for them to be there.
DeleteMy reply to you LouAnn is if there are individuals working with IEP students and the parents feel that they are really not there for their child, then those individuals have no right working with our special kiddos!
DeleteShandy I agree with everything you said. I am very impressed with your comments and make sure you continue to advocate for you child as much as possible. Having a bad IEP meeting is very embarrassing and unprofessional, so lets all make sure we do things the right way.
DeleteHaving never had to prepare for a parent conference as an educator, I can only speak from the view of my role as a student and as a para-educator. To prepare for conferences, I think I would first allow parents, as much as possible, to choose times that would be convenient for them to come for the conference. However, I would also hope that because their child’s education is important, they would be willing to also be flexible in scheduling. In addition, I would discuss with the students ahead of time the format of the conferences and what will be discussed. The teacher should have the information that will be discussed on hand and any papers/assignments should be organized and ready to retrieve if needed during the conference. As a student, I never experienced a “bad conference.” I was mostly well-behaved in school and received decent grades. The one comment I do remember was from math (a more challenging subject for me). The teacher said that I “try really hard.” It was kind of a back-handed compliment in my view. As a teacher, I realize that not every comment can be positive, but I hope to give criticism constructively and with information that the student can use. I think the best conferences are when both the parent and teacher are prepared with the information and questions they have, but they are not so set on what they want to say that they forget to listen to one another. Parents and teachers do have to work as a team to get the best from the child, and that will not happen if there are hard feelings after a conference.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I think being as prepared as possible as a teacher and parent definately helps with any conference. Also thinking ahead with questions you might have. A lot of parents leave and then remember or then have questions they forgot to ask. Being prepared is also a key factor!
DeleteGreat post Lindy. For not having experience with conference it sounds like you have a great start and understanding of what is needed. You are right, being prepared is important. You always what to have evidence to support your reporting to parents.
DeleteI agree that the best conferences are when parents and teachers know all the information they need to know before the conference. This takes great communication between the teacher and parent. Which is it is so important as a teacher to have great communication between parents! Great post!
DeleteOnce again, I do not have experience in the classroom, so I will pretend again. An example of a great conference would be where the parent, the student and I were all prepared. I would start out with positive topics and tell about the great things about the student and how well he/she is doing. I would then go into how he/she could improve and the parent would be willing to ask me questions and be involved in the conference. The best conference would be for a student that I didn't think needed many improvements and we could go over all the things that student does well and I could answer any questions or concerns the parents may have for continuing to challenge the student.
ReplyDeleteThe worst conference would be with parents that do not agree with me and that do not think their child needs any improvement or they think that their behavior is my fault. I'm assuming I would already have some insight as to which parents might be like this so that I could prepare something to say. I would assure them by showing examples of what I am doing as a teacher to help the student. The problem would come if the parents did not want to help and cooperate with the school in helping the student better themselves. The school can only do so much, but they still get much of their influence from home. The feeling of having a conference and feeling worse than when you went into the conference is not good.
In the worst case I think it is just important to be as prepared as possible with as many examples and evidence of me doing my job the best I can. Not to show that it is the student's fault, but to show that I am doing everything in my power to help this child and the parent needs to meet me half way in order to make a change. The parent knows the student more than anyone and perhaps if they would cooperate they could give me ideas on what would work best for the student and be supportive and confident in my attempts at success. Also, if it was a kid that needed much improvement or had a behavior problem I would be sure to show the parents the student's evaluation of themselves so they might at least see what is going on if they see it from the child's point of view. (unless, of course the evaluation is negative towards me or the school).
Unfortunately this type of behavior where parents think their child is "perfect" and never does anything wrong happens a lot. Most of the time the parents are in denial. I know in a few cases, other staff have been invited to the conference to confirm what the teacher has to say, especially if they know the parents think this way. Always a difficult task!
DeleteAhh that would be my worst fear, being blamed for students poor performance. Especially if there are other things prevent the student from performing. I think Stacey also makes a good point of having other staff available if you know this type of situation might occur.
DeleteI think it's so important for parents to meet you half way. I think with parents busy lives it's hard to get that from parents. I think in the time we are living in right now, parents are working weird hours or multiple jobs, and a lot of the time they don't if there child is getting school work done. Positive parent involvement is so major in a parent teacher conference.
DeleteI have not had the experience to be a teacher during conferences, but I have been in the classroom as part of conferences. I think the best conference I experienced was with a child who has struggled all year long with academics as well as behavior. He had improved greatly throughout the year. There still were many struggles, but the teacher started off with all the positives the student has accomplished. I think you always need to start off positive with parents. Even when a child doesnt have too many positives in your mind, there is something they have to do well. THe parents were very proud and happy with what he had accomplished. We then moved on to how to continue with what strategies wed been doing, and how to improve those. The teacher was very willing to discuss any changes to really help the student. She showed we were really there to help the student. Another conference started with two divorced parents, who were not of speaking terms so much! It was very uncomfortable for all parties in the room. The teacher was prepared because the student did very well in school, but she was not prepared with these parents. The student had won some awards and had her picture taken with a famous person who came to our school. The teacher was very excited to share this with the parents, but was not prepared with the outcome. The parents seemed pleased with what the student had acoomplished but they were more concerned with who was getting what award for their house and what picture went where. The conference turned into who does what for the student and who needs to do more. It was very uncomfortable. I think the teacher knew the parents didnt work very well together but they insisted on coming to the conference together. Next time as a teacher, even if the relationship is good between parents, I would have double copies of EVERYTHING to give to the parents. I think the teacher was prepared because the student was such a success at school, but was not prepared for what to expect with the parents. I would maybe try to do some research on the exact relationships with all parents that are divorced or seperted. Because the student was such a good student the parents may not have been contacted as much about school. I think as a teacher you always need to be prepared for everything.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea to make sure you have enough copies of everything so parents do not have to argue over who gets to take home what!I also agree being organized is highly important especially when conferences only last 15 minutes or so.
DeleteAs being a single parent, I love that you have double copies and keep each parent informed. I know as the primary custodian for my son, I feel that sometimes all contact to his father is put on me (we have a great realtionship and focus only on our son) and the school uses me to pass on information to him. We keep a folder and calendar that goes back and forth between us with all school information and dates. As a teacher, I would make sure to inform each parent and talk with the parents about involvement( how they would like for everything to work, receive information etc.). So many child have non-traditional families and it is imporatant to do whatever is needed to accomodate all of them.
DeleteI enjoyed reading your example of the parents that did not get along. Having two copies of everything is a great idea. Reading this situation will help me in the future to prepare for meetings like this.
DeleteHaving a split family parent teacher conference hasn't really been something I have thought about. I really like the idea of having double copies of everything. I would hope if the parents thought being together in a room would cause distributions for the conference, they would ask to have separate times. I as a teacher would want both parents to be comfortable at the conference to ask questions and if that ment separate times I would make time for that!
DeleteI have not had the chance to be in a teacher role for conferences. We haven't really encountered many issues with my sons conferences either. I think the best conference is when the students needs, achievements and places of improvement are focused on in a positive manner. This can be good for everyone involved but ultimately conferences should be student centered so they are getting the best out of their education. This can be difficult if there are a lot of improvements that need to be made parents emotions can start to come into play. Additionally it can be difficult if the blame game starts up.
ReplyDeleteI think the worst type of conference would be one where parents attack the teacher for lack of student development, where two parents blame the other for lack of progress or even when a student is high achieving and the parents aren't appreciative and demand even more.
While it may be more time consuming if you know you have parents who may not get a long it might be best for everyone to make two different conferences, that way it remains productive and continue to redirect the conversation towards to student not the other parent. I also think its a good idea to find out if there are any issues the parents would like to discuss prior to conferences so you are not blind sided and can gather any materials you may need to address those issues. Ultimately, the goal should be to keep the focus on the student not the parents or even the teacher.
I agree about keeping it student-centered. I have learned that if everyone's focus is the child then everyone wins. The main focus should be what the child is doing right and what needs improvement. If everyone wants the best for the child the parents and teachers will come together to build the child's future. There are so many why questions but the best for the student is to focus on change:turning negatives around and striving for improvement should be the focus.
DeleteI like how you said that the ultimate goal is to stay focused on the student. That is very true because even when the parents are dealing with issues that take away their focus on their child's education it is still super important for teachers to make sure that the students academic success is still the main point of attention.
DeleteI agree that it is important to keep the focus on the student's progress. If the only option to having a good conference is to have separate ones than that is what needs to be done. Doing what is best for the child is what is needed.
DeleteI have not yet run conferences. As part of preparing I believe I would make sure students understand what would be covered - even showing them some examples of their work. I would make an effort to schedule times with parents that best work for them. I think the best conference would be one in which the parents are very supportive of their child and I have seen improvement in the child because of parent involvement. To me the worst conference would be one in which the parents just do not care. It would be hard to know that a student had more potential that could be reached with more parental involvement, but that the parents didn't care to be involved at all.
ReplyDeleteErin - It is frustrating for me as well to see parents who ignore the value of education for their child. Perhaps we as teachers can find ways to show the parents their child's aptitude and help them understand the possibility of higher education for their child.
DeleteAs a Para I have never been in charge of running a conference, but to prepare for the conference I like to meet with the student and ask them what type of things they would like to talk about in the meeting. Our school pushes self-advocacy so I use this opportunity to have them practice what they would like to say to their parents, teachers, and school staff about what kind of classes they want to take and what they think should be changed in their IEP. Personally I review the student's IEP and any behavior interventions they have recieved since the last conference.
ReplyDeleteThe best conference I was in was supposed to just be a short informal meeting about the students behavior, but the conference quickly turned into a discussion about things we could do at the school and what the parent could do at home to correct the poor behavior. This required meeting because of repeated poor behavior helped us correct problems that led to better behavior and academic performance from the student.
The worst conference I have ever been in was one where the parent and student did nothing but nod their head when asked questions about the student. WIth the parents unwilling to communicate with us we were unable to really use the conference to help the student and their educational and behavioral needs. I think to fix this problem we should have attempted to create more of a relationship with the parent before the meeting. I also think sometimes with students who have behavior problems and IEP's there are so many people in the meetings that the parents can feel overwhelmed. Maybe trying to have several smaller meetings would help fix this problem.
Ryals - I think the idea of having students prepare things to discuss during the conference is a fantastic way to approach conferences. Students should be in charge of their own education, and this allows them to take an active part in conferences and not skip out on them or just sit back and wait for the conference to be over. The teacher could provide students with an outline of things to talk about: strengths, weaknesses, goals, highs and lows, favorite assignment, etc. Although they should be sharing these things with their parents at home, I know I was not talkative about school projects at home when I was in high school.
DeleteWhen the parents aren't involved its a hard feeling to deal with for someone who really cares about the students success. Communication really is key and if there is no real tangible communication it is really difficult to make progress.
DeleteI have never been in a teacher role for conferences but I have been present at a meeting for an autistic student that I was 1 on 1 for and it was a very productive meeting. It was successful because I had come in with very little knowledge of autism and the school had brought in an expert on teaching to autistic students and she helped educate both me and her parents on tips and suggestions that we could use with the student to make him more successful. I was then able to see those things work in the context of the classroom and it really made me feel good about everything we had done. I have not been present to a bad conference situation but I believe the worst situation is to be confronted by a parent for not teaching well enough or for showing favoritism. It would be hard to deal with another individual questioning your life choice of career and also making it personal. I think the important thing is to keep calm in a situation like that and remember the important thing is to stay positive and work towards the best situation for the student.
ReplyDeleteI have not had any parent-teacher conferences yet. I have however had my own as a child and those of my children. I felt that the ones that were student directed seemed to be the most productive. The teacher and my child were present so it was hard for my child to not be completely honest about their progress and effort. In the conferences that my children were not present I would get a totally different story from them when I got home and wanted to talk to them about what the teacher had told me. The one that I like that Jesup School does is that they have all of the teachers in one location for the conferences. This is nice because if a parents has more than one child or if the child has more than one teacher the parent can see if that teacher is open without running all over the school trying to find out if the teacher is meeting with someone else or if they are open. I have to admit that I finally quit going to my children’s conferences because you would have to run all over the school only to find out that the teacher on one end of the building was busy and then I would run to the other end to find the same thing. They also only had just a few hours of time available after 5:00 so I didn’t have a lot of time to be running around.
ReplyDeleteI also think that the student directed conferences would be best. Having them present and there to find a proactive solution to the problem.
DeleteI have never had PT conferences with any students yet, but I have attended all of my childrens. I beleive that it is very important to attend the conference whether it is all positive or it has some negatives. This way your child, the teacher, and yourself are all on the same page when it comes to your childs education. I beleive that all conferences can be positive when all come in with an open mind in what is going right and what might need to be changed. My worst conference that I have had was a conference that I attended with my husband, my step-son, and his mother. My husband and I were very concerned with the grades that he was pulling. His mother was giving many excuses and playing the blame game with the school. It go down to Payton was not turning in any homework thus failing two classes. His mom tried to play blame but when it came down to it the teacher, my husband, and I had a plan in place that if Payton did not have his work done when he came to school the next day he would have to stay in for recess. If it wasn't completed during recess the he would have to stay after school until 4:45. Mom would then have to pick him up. She had a 15 mile drive one way. So after this conference Payton only had a couple times that his homework was not completed. Payton did not want to miss recess and mom did not want to wait and pick him up or travel 30 miles round trip. It is funny how one parent does not have the really care about her son's education and when my husband and I are all about getting a good education and not making excuses when one is not getting their homework done. I beleive that we have made a big difference in Payton's education and mom is just letting us take control of it so she does not have to.
ReplyDeleteMy best conference was when I invited a set of parents into conferences when they were fully expecting to hear nothing but bad things about their son. Their son had not experienced much success in school, however I was able to develop a good relationship with him because of our same interests in hunting. I promised to take the boy on a hunting trip if he passed his classes and that was enough to motivate him. He passed his classes and the meeting was very emotional for the parents. They were so proud.
ReplyDeleteI experienced a bad conference because the parent was made at me because of basketball and he took that out on me at conferences even though it had nothing to do with academics. He proceeded to scream at me in front of others, and it was an embarrassing scene.
I can see were that would be a bad conference and very embarrassing. Also with your good experience I think thats awesome to grow a relationship with him and that helped him in his academics.
DeleteBest Conference
ReplyDeleteI taught a student who had autism. This student faced many challenges during his day. Any change to his work or schedule was a BIG issue. If there was some type of change, he would refuse to do work, hide under his desk, or in the closet. Each day he would also have to leave my room to go to the resource room for additional help. He began to hide outside of this teacher’s room. I met with other teachers to put a plan in place to make transitioning from room to room and from subject to subject. Because of the success of this plan, I was able to share this with both parents and administrators. The plan was so successful it continuted into 7th and 8th grade.
Worst Conference
The worst conference that I have had was in my first year of teaching 5th & 6th grade. I had a student who constantly misbehaved. So I decided to have a parent meeting to resolve the issues/behaviors. Let me first tell you that both of these parents worked for the Waterloo Public Schools. Mom was an elementary teacher and dad was an administrator at the high school level. Mom showed up first and was supportive of coming up with a plan to stop behavior and put reinforces into place. Then…dad shows up and the tone of the meeting changes. In his eyes his son does no wrong and it is me who has the issue. During this meeting I gave examples of the misbehavior that had occurred in and outside of my room that I had witnessed or another teacher had witnessed. Again he implies his son does no wrong. At this point, I suggest that we meet with the other teachers and administration so he can hear from them first hand. In hind sight, I probably should have had the other teachers and administration present to begin with. Maybe dad would have been more receptive if he could have talked with each teach at that time. I truly did not anticipate the resistance from the parents. We did have another meeting with parents, student, teachers, and administration. Dad was a little more receptive and agreed to put a plan in place.
I have also yet to be a part of a parent-teacher conference. But if I were to picture a good conference or best conference, I would have to say that the parents and studentare present. The parents would work together with the teacher in finding new ways to help the student if struggling. Also the parents would be very positive towards the teacher and be proactive about any situation that would occur.
ReplyDeleteA negative conference would be if a pernt was non compliant with the teacher and was not proactive to find a positive soulution for the student or teacher. Also a sign of the worst conference would be were the parent is giving no feedback. I would find that difficult to handle if a parent was not being cooperative.
A change I would try to make is just try and communicate with the parents prior to the conference. I feel that is huge when going into conferences.
I have never been apart of a parent- teacher conference. I know that teachers usually seem stressed and do alot of extra work to get prepared for conferences. I have heard that some conferences go great and some go bad. I think usually the teacher knows which conference is going to be harder than others. I think that if the teacher has good communication with parents through out the whole year that conferences will go smoothier. I also have heard that some teachers have administration sit in on conferences if they know they may go badly. I think this is a great thing to do so the teacher has back up on hand if needed.
ReplyDelete