Sean Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, give the following statistics with communication:
7% of what is communicated is in words.
53% of what is communicated comes from body language.
40% of what is communicated comes from the tone & feeling reflected in our voice & how we say the words.
Thinking about Covey's statistics and the guidelines from our textbook, choose two of the following scenarios and respond to how you would react in this parent-teacher situation.
Scenario 1: During a parent-teacher conference, a parent confronts you about their child receiving his/her first B. The parent insists that the child is an "A" student and wants you to change the grade.
Scenario 2: You catch a student copying another student's work and make a call home. The parent insists that the student would never do something like that.
Scenario 3: In your class, a student calls another student an inappropriate name. His behavior has occurred in the past and it is time to make the phone call home.
Scenario 4: A student has refused to complete their homework and this has been ongoing for the past three weeks. You have requested that parent(s) come in for a conference.
Scenario 3- Bullying is a major issue in today's schools so as a teacher I must not allow a student to call another student something inappropriate. I would call the parents and try to stay positive as possible but also explain what I witnessed. I would tell them the impact that it may have on the other students who may be bullied. I would ask for their support and try to get them on my side to curb the negative language. I would also ask them to support my punishment for the student.
ReplyDeleteScenario 4- The student has quit doing work and has not been cooperative. I would immediately seek out the parents for help. I would tell them what is going on and try to figure out what is happening outside of school which may be affecting this. There may be a reason why the student can get their school work done. If there is not, I would ask them for help in getting the student back on the right track. I could even show some work they did in the past and let them know what they are capable of.
Todd - No parent wants to hear their child has been a bully at school (I hope!). I appreciate the specific comment about trying to stay positive. Encouraging parental support of the issue is also important. This may not always happen, but I think it's a good effort to show parents you care about their involvement in school. When students are not completing their work at school, I think parents often do not know. Opening their eyes to the problem is definitely the first step. I like the idea of comparing their low-effort work and previously higher-level work.
DeleteI agree that the first step should be trying to figure out what is going on outside of school that could be possibly be causing the problem. This contact with the parent can really help get to the heart of the problem instead of just reacting to the misbehavior. The parent can also be used to help get the student back on track, if the parent is willing to work with you then you are more likely to correct the behavior.
DeleteMaybe it is something that is going on inside of school. In these cases there could be so many different things that is making the student not wanting to do thier homework. Yes, it could be something outside of school, but maybe it is that the student does not understand the assignments, or just does not have the drive to complete anything. I think that as a teacher you need to look at every angle.
DeleteScenario 1: I would list a few of the student's positive traits and strengths to the parents. Then I would let the parents know exactly what it would take for the student to get an A in the class. The situation could be taken from personal to practical once parents understand that I am not "judging" their student to be a B student, but that there are certain benchmarks the student may not be achieving.
ReplyDeleteScenario 3: After speaking with the student again I would let the student know that I was going to make a call home. When speaking with the parents I would discuss both the student's appropriate classroom behaviors and the student's inappropriate classroom behavior. In helping the parent to understand that their student can conduct themselves properly I would hope that the parent would have a discussion with their child on appropriate conduct.
Erin, I like that you start out with positives when discussing the student. It is always good to get out on the right track, before you approach negatives. Parents always need to hear the good and bad, as do kids as well!
DeleteI think trying to stay positive with the parents is extremely important in resolving all issues they may have with your handling of grades or behavior. Like you said speaking first about the student's positive traits and strenghts will help make the parents understand that you are aware of the students positives before you address any concerns.
DeleteI like the staying positive part as well. It is crucially important when dealing with a high stress situation. It defuses the situation and usually calms the parents down.
DeleteI also agree with always staying positive with the parents. Always stating and staying with the facts is also a good thing. If the teacher starts to make different accusations the parent can become very defensive. Even if their child is at fault the parent may back them up and make excuses if the behavior is not dealt with in a positive way.
DeleteI agree with the book as well when it comes to stating the positive things first, and then getting into what needs worked on (the reason for the call/conference/etc). I also like in the first one how you said you would make a point to take it from personal to practical. For some reason parents think we are out to get their children. Yeah, that's why I'm spending thousands of dollars to go BACK to school is to torture children and their families! It's silly, but it is reality. I have not been in the classroom, but just hearing about it in my classes it seems this is what they think. Boy, have times changed!
DeleteIt is always a good idea to stay positive. Being positive will get better results and responses than negativity.Again I feel that it is extremely improtant to build those relationships with parents, students, and outside community support.Preventive Measures
Delete#2: Before calling home, I would probably write out exactly what I saw and speak with another teacher. Because I would be upset, I would not want to be too emotional with what I was saying. In addition, I am an anxious person, and I tend to forget what I want to say when I get upset. By speaking with another person on the staff, it would help eliminate anything being said that is unrelated and having it written down would ensure I do not forget anything. When I made the call home, I would remain calm and describe what I saw. Although the parents would be upset, I would explain to them the rules of the school on cheating and what the consequences will be.
ReplyDelete#3: School should be a safe place for all kids to come to school, and in a classroom they should not be in situations that make them feel uncomfortable. Profanity has no place in the school and especially in a classroom. I would explain to the parents that this is a recurring problem. School is a place of business for the teachers and is a student’s “job” as well. In professional places, using language like that to speak to a co-worker or peer is unacceptable. It is important to not show any blame towards the parents or imply that you think the language comes from the home life. It is important to ask for the parent’s support and let them know that the teachers want to help all the students, including their child.
I do like how you say profanity does not belong in the classroom. I feel the same way but work in a school where it is allowed in small doses just not when it becomes a distraction to learning, so we are not suppose to address it in transitioning or in between classes only if it becomes a distraction. It is difficult to do that when my personal feelings differ with the way the school works.
DeleteI really like how you would take time to write it down and meet with another teacher. I am also someone who tends to forget things while I am talking on the phone, because I get nervous and anxious (that's why I love texting ;)). I think having it written down is a great idea. I think it's also a great idea for you to get cooled off before making the phone call home. Often times when we are upset we say things we don't mean.
DeleteI think writting out what you want to say is a great idea, especially if its a hard/bad situation and your upset and emotional about it! Great post!
DeleteLindy, it is great not to rush things. We live in a busy world and people often times do things they regret. It is always better to be prepared.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to rule #3- it is important no matter what you believe that you stick to it. There are very few things that set up for failure more than making rules and consequences and not sticking to them.
#4- If I had a student in my class who wasn't completing homework I would try and work with them to get a plan to help them succeed weather it's extending time until they were able to finish or giving them one on one time. But if they still weren’t getting their work done I would defiantly make a call home. I would want to get the parents involved because I never want to have to fail a student without trying my best to help them succeed. I think it's important the parents know what going on so if we are unable to get there child enthused about school they know I did my very best to help them. I would go out of my way to help this student catch back up and stay on track, if the parents and the student are giving me there all.
ReplyDelete#1- If a parent came to me and disagreed with a student’s grade I would first show them there students work. I would want them to look through their work and tell them I only give grades they earn. If they still disagree when looking at the students work I would want to set up another conference with the parents and the student. I would want the student to sit in and be able to be involved in our conversation. I would go through past assignment and tell them what I expected and why they didn't get a cretin grade. The benefit for having the student there would be, so they can't make up stuff at home and feed their parents with their own lies. They have to be honest with the teacher sitting right there. I would just keep making myself clear that I don't give out grades the students earn them.
Great idea for giving extra chances to complete homework. Sometimes students just need some extra one on one time to complete homework, and time away from distractions maybe at home.
DeleteI like the comment.. I don't give out grades, the student earn them. That is so true, some parents think that just because they ask the teacher to change the grade that we can. I find is sad that some adults are ok with trying to "cheat" the system for their child.
DeleteScenario 1: During a parent-teacher conference, a parent confronts you about their child receiving his/her first B. The parent insists that the child is an "A" student and wants you to change the grade.
ReplyDeleteI would stay calm and show the parent ALL the work that led up to the B grade. I would point out the positive things the student is doing while also showing why the student got a B. I would then talk to them about how the student can work the rest of the year to get an A. I would also want to discuss why the student has dropped his/her grade. Is there something different at home? Is he/she not challenged enough, etc.
Scenario 4: A student has refused to complete their homework and this has been ongoing for the past three weeks. You have requested that parent(s) come in for a conference.
Again, it is all about staying calm. If I stay calm, the mood for the conference stays calm. I will also stay positive and begin by showing the positive things the student is doing so that it doesn't look like I am attacking the student, like some parents think the teacher is doing. I would then discuss the student not completing their homework and ask the parents if they were aware of the homework and ask about their home life in a very subtle way. Maybe ask if there is anything I can do to help make sure the homework is getting done. I would tell them how important the homework is. Maybe it is something the parents thought the student was doing, but the student is doing something else instead. Or maybe there is something going on in the household that has required the student to not have time to do his/her homework at home. I would want to calmly and tactfully get the answer and try to find a way to solve the problem.
Great post! I think it is important to find the cause of the why the student started not completing homework to make a change. The parents would be a great resource. I wish the scenarios did not leave so much white area.
DeleteAsking important questions to the parents as to if they've had changes at home etc, really can help bring a better understanding in any situation for students. Parents can be a way to get to know your students more so you as a teacher might be able to read their behaviors a little more.
Deletei like that in the first scenario you would have examples of the student's work and could show the parents what kind of work it would take to get an A. This would help the parents to understand that your grading was not subjective.
DeleteI agree Jill, as the teacher you need to keep as calm as possible on the outside even if you are screaming on the inside.
Delete1. I would show as much information as possible to show why the student has a B. If the student is truly an A student. I think it would be important to troubleshoot what might have brought about the drop in achievement. Throughout the entire conversation, while it may be difficult it would be important to stay calm and positive, especially if the student is present, I would not want them to think a B is bad or feel like they must ALWAYS get an A.
ReplyDelete4. It states this is only for the last 3 weeks which would lead me to believe this is a new behavior for this student. I would try to find out if there was anything bothering the student and gathering any information I could before the parent meeting. I would talk with other teachers to find out if they are having the same problem if not then it would be a subject or classroom specific problem possibly. I would be prepared to ask the parents if there has been any changes they have noticed at home and see if we can come up with a plan from there. Again remaining as positive as possible stressing the desire to help to student be successful.
Great post! I loved when you wrote that the student should not think a B is a bad grade or that they must always get an A. Some parents are very demanding of their chldren and I would hope that their behavior would not discourage the student from future success. I suggest that this is a parent concern and not a student concern.
DeleteIt is always a must for a teacher to stand their ground and not be presssured into making changes to grades etc. based on parent pressure. It could be hard to stand up to some parents.
DeleteI really like your statement about letting the student know a B is not a bad thing. I had a lot of friends whos parents would get upset over B's in school. I am so thankful I was lucky enough to have parents that knew I tried hard for every grade I got.
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ReplyDeleteScenario 3: In your class, a student calls another student an inappropriate name. His behavior has occurred in the past and it is time to make the phone call home.
ReplyDeleteWhen calling the parents about the student I would be very understanding to all of the parents’ concerns. Finding out that your child is being inappropriate at school and can be difficult, parents can react in many different ways: defensive, focus blame on teacher etc. I would be straight forward as say exactly what is happening and what will occur if it continues to be a problem in the classroom. Hopefully, calling the parents to let them know will be punishment enough (I know it always was for me☻) and the behavior will change. I would start and finish with positives about the student so they know that the student does do good things in the classroom.
Scenario 4: A student has refused to complete their homework and this has been ongoing for the past three weeks. You have requested that parent(s) come in for a conference.
At the conference I would focus on ways that the situation can change. I would concentrate on everyone being a team working towards the same goal. I am not sure that I would have personally waited three weeks for the first interaction to occur on the topic of homework. I would make sure that other forms of communication where used before calling a conference. I would suggest the use of a planner, Friday envelopes, newsletter, progress reports, or any other method that the parents are able to maintain. I would also give positives about the student and not only focus on the negatives. Being an active listener is important to defuse emotions that the parents may have.
Preparing for the conference is a must. The teacher would know the parents better than the example gives and the teacher would have expectations of what would occur. I would also prepare the student for what was going to occur in the conference. I would have specific data available to them to prove the missing homework and set a plan to put into action before parting. I would always follow-up on any topic discussed with parents.
Shandy - I really like that you plan on going into the conference with specific strategies the parents and students can use to help the situation change. I also like that you would prepare the student before the conference.
DeleteScenario 3: In your class, a student calls another student an inappropriate name. His behavior has occurred in the past and it is time to make the phone call home.
ReplyDeleteWhen I would make the phone call I would first, ask if anything was going on at home, or in the student's life that is different. I would approach the parent as your child has not been themselves in the past couple of weeks. As the conversation would continue, I would then proceed with exactly what the student had done. If the parents still said their student did not do this. I would just keep referring to the fact that the student really has not been themselves lately. Turning the conversation more into the very caring part. I would also make the parents aware of any disipline if the behavior continues. I would tell the parents that a letter would be sent home from an administrator for them to sign, but would encourage the parents to talk with their child as well to help see what might be going on with them. I would probably end the conversation with a positive thing the student has been doing.
Scenario 2: You catch a student copying another student's work and make a call home. The parent insists that the student would never do something like that.
With this situation, I would tell the parents that yes, the student was cheating. I would use the work that both students had been doing to see what was all similar. I would inform the teacher that the student may be a good student, but maybe this material was overwhelming. THe teacher could provide some more material for the parents at home to use, if needed. I would also tell the parents that they are going to redo the assignment by themselves. That way the student can show what they really know about the material given. I would inform the parents that I will not give total credit for their work, but would give some. And if the student can show they do actually know the material, then I would consider lighter discipline. If the parents still were not okay with this, I would suggest a conference with an administrator to go over our cheating policies at school.
Stacey - You have a very caring approach to working with students, and I think this will go far in your relationships with the parents. I like that you try to find meaning to the student's behavior rather than just enforcing consequences. If there is a trigger leading to these behaviors, the trigger will have to be dealt with before the behaviors will change. I appreciate your willingness to look past the event and try to see the bigger picture in the student's life in both situations.
DeleteI like that you emphasize that you are speaking with them because you care, not because you want to discipline them. It is not about punishing students, but helping them be their best.
DeleteScenario 3: Hopefully before the incident I would have already had contact with the parent and formed a beneficial relationship. After the incident I would call the parent and explain what happened, how it made the bullied student feel, and how I handled the situation. I would explain to the parent what correction and punishment I gave to their child and why. I would then answer any questions and concerns they might have about how I handled the situation.
ReplyDeleteScenario 1: When confronted by the parent I would make sure that I kept my comments about the students performance positive and outlined things that the student could do to recieve an A in the future. I would invite the parent to have a conference with me to look over the students assignments compared to students who recieved A's. Hopfully this would answer the concerns of the parent.
Staying postive is important. Negativity shuts of communication. It is also important to start of the year in a positive matter by building the relationships with parents. They are one of our biggest advocates.
DeleteScenario 1: It is important to immediately defuse the situation here. I would do that by staying calm and making sure the parent got to speak their concerns. Then address the main concerns of the parent and then explain the expectations that I have set for the entire class and what I exactly A work looks like. Hopefully it has helped make them feel more comfortable with the situation.
ReplyDeleteScenario 2: I would initially say that the student has made positives in many areas. Then I would explain that even the best of us make mistakes. It may have just been a brief err in judgment and not something that is going to be a habit but that we still have to deal with some consequences for the action. If the parent still didn't believe what I was saying I would say that first and foremost I think the student and parent should have a conversation about the situation.
Nick I like your approach in scenario 2. I think it helps to keep things as positive as possible and yet making your point.
DeleteScenario 1:
ReplyDeleteI feel that the most important thing is to remain calm. Raising my own voice will not help the problem. Showing the parent the grading rubric that I used on the assignment might help inform the parent of how the grading was done. If I still had the assignment I would get it out to show the parent. If there was a way to keep another student's name confidential, I would show them what the “A” papers looked like. I would assure the parent that I knew that their child is capable of “A” work but that they did not produce “A” quality this time.
Scenario 4:
I think that it is very important at any time that you are dealing with a parent to make sure that you also find positive things to tell about the child not just the negative. I feel that it is important to have plenty of data to show the parents. Including the parents in on some options that their child might have to improve their grade. Ask the family if they know of any reason why the student hasn’t been doing the work. Make sure that you end the meeting with a plan and on a positive note.
Scenario 3: First of all if this has happened more than once it is once too many. There is a no tolerance policy in bullying. The first thing that would be done is the student would be written up for saying inappropriate things and for bullying another student. It would be explained to the student that there is a no tolerance policy for bullying and that their parents will be called. I would stay calm and positive in talking with the student and with the parent. Hopefully after the write-up and the phone call home everything would be taken care of in a positve manner.
ReplyDeleteScenario 4: I would let the student know that this is unacceptable and that school policy states that I can have a student stay after school for the non-compliance of completing school work. I would then let the student know that I will be placing a phone call to his/her parents and what the consequence will be for not completing school work and that this has been an on going issue.
Scenario 3: In your class, a student calls another student an inappropriate name. His behavior has occurred in the past and it is time to make the phone call home.
ReplyDeleteI would call home to speak with the parents and share the issue that has been reoccurring. I would talk about bullying and the impact that it has on others and their child. If there is no change after the phone call then I would follow the next procedure for bullying and harassment. It would also be a good idea to involve the police school liaison officer. This is another person with resources that may be able to help and may have a greater impact. They also have resources that are not available to us.
Scenario 4: A student has refused to complete their homework and this has been ongoing for the past three weeks. You have requested that parent(s) come in for a conference.
I would first start by having the discussion with the student of why they are refusing to do their homework. This would happen immediately. I would also take notes of this meeting to share with parents. I then would make a parent phone call to discuss this issue. The parent may not be aware that their child is refusing to do their work. If the issue continues, I would set up a meeting with his/her parents, Oasis teacher, and the principal. In this meeting, we would again discuss the refusal of homework and come up with a plan. There may be an issue. There may be an underlying issue that we are not aware of. Maybe the work is too difficult, he/she has no help at home, or the parent just doesn’t know how to help them. Try to keep the meeting positive if possible.
I like your response to #3. I think that would be a good way to handle it.
Delete#2- I would make the phone call after writing out what I had seen. I would explain that I saw the student cheating and that is why I am calling. If the parent says they do not think their child would do this, I would explain that I saw this with my own eyes and have confronted the student already. If need be than I will let the student talk on the phone to the parent.
ReplyDeleteI would explain that the student was speaking in a way we should not in school. I will let the parent know that this has been a reoccurring problem and that we need to find a plan so that the student can learn to watch their language.
Scenerio 3- If a student is saying unappropriate things to another student or even in general, its definitley time for a phone call home. I am hearing alot lately about having the student call first and explain the reason for the call. Then the teacher can get on the phone and talk to the parent. The teacher should explain the situation in a very calm and caring tone. The teacher should tell the parent what the consequences are for their child's actions and then the teacher, student, and parent could maybe make a plan for if it were to happen again, what would happen. I think its very important to remain calm at all times. In any situation. That will help keep the situation under control.
ReplyDeleteScenerio 1- If the parent is having a issue with why the student got the grade they did, the teacher should explain the assigment, the expectations of the assignment. I would also pull the students assignment and go over it with the parent until they understood why they recieved the grade that they did. I would also explain that I can't change the grade and that I have to remain true to the grading scale, expectations, and stay fair to all the students.
ReplyDelete